Bruce & All -

You may have to bear with my fledgling efforts as I attempt to convert & refine my presentation style from "Voyageur Rap" to "Ballads".  I took a crack at it on my long trek to work this morning & ended up somewhere "in the middle", in the "limerick" neighborhood... I think.  Anyway, here goes:

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          THE BALLAD OF BUSHWHACKER BILL

T'is the ballad of Bushwhacker Bill
Who wandered the Woods for a thrill
But, oh, what a mess!
When that damned GPS
Conked out with the batteries killed!

He had aimed for "the Pond" in the Park
Which he sought on a Jamboree lark,
Following old Stumpy's vision,
Suffering laughs and derision,
From those CERTAIN that he'd "miss his mark".

So he banged through the brush in a daze
His Wits worried him well into Craze.
Through the thorns and the mud
He shed pounds, sweat, & blood
Wading swamps in a wilderness maze!

But Bushwhacker Bill... he had grit.
Plus he thought of the PRIZES he'd get
IF he would just persevere
And just carry that gear!
But... oh no!!  Now poor Bill had to sh_t!!!

Old Bill he did grunt and did groan
He did pant, he did shriek, he did moan!!
He seemed shit-outta luck,
When through Bushwhacker pluck,
Stumbled on Old Salt's Memorial Throne!

So Bill cried aloud with his glee
As he hosed that there shrine with his pee
When old Stumpy came 'round
To see what's going down
And got whizzed on the side of his knee!

So Stumpy dried off but was damp.
Cussed his luck & his boots he did stamp.
But soon "party" was on
And it lasted til Dawn
At Stumpy's Rendezvous Bushwhacker camp!

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WITH ONLY 49 DAYS TO HEAVEN, TODAY'S INAUGURAL BUSHWHACKER BALLADEERING WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

Jimbo   8)