Jimbo, I think if your lead character in your ballad is named "Bushwacker Bill" you should try to come up with something to the tune of "Bungalow Bill" by the Beatles.  Just a humble suggestion from (or for?) the lyrically impaired...

...and Stumpy, I wish you luck.  You will be facing the singing, arm-wrestling, racing, flamingo-toting, shrine-building Jimbo along with the "32 flavors and then some" of Kawishaway.  I just have to believe this is not quite what you had in mind when you hatched this idea.  Of course you could just pair them off and Jimbo can come up with 32 different activities to keep the 32 personalities of K occupied!

Someone just HAS to bring a video camera to this shindig!  I know I'd pay almost anything to see a highlight film.