I find fascinating all the good insight offered above on the dynamic between fathers and sons.  

My take: I've found that most fathers give their sons LESS freedom, responsibility and respect (and opportunity to succeed or fail on their own) than another man would, and often just weigh their sons down with commands, instruction and rules.

Why? Worried about safety ... a subconscious worry that the boy will do something wrong or in a fumbling manner and embarrass himself and the Dad ... lack of patience ... the need to always be the Dad Boss ... the "gotta do it myself and teach him the right way" syndrome ... the don't bother me while i'm enjoying myself excuse ... etc. etc.

I like the "treat the 14-year-old as an equal" comments. Give him respect and responsibility. Assume he's going to man up when it comes to the chores. I have no idea of his skill level, but I'd give him stuff one level above what he can handle, and help or guide as needed. Instruction should be casual, a la "I know you already know this but ...."

And I'd get the boy away from his Dad a few times. My nephews always act more mature around their uncles than they do their families.

-- kypaddler