This has been a greatly entertaining thread!  My (to be) wife labeled me "the canoe nazi" on the first (and overambitious) trip I took her on.  I seem to recall portaging to Trousers in growing dark, the first night out, following our dog's white tail...  Not good.   That was a long time ago, and she married me anyway.  I have mellowed out, I think (more just from age than from any quality of character...).
     Also, I remember -- and this is even longer ago -- when I worked as a teenage "guide" for scout canoe trips out of Moose Lake.  I always had groups with great adult "advisors", far as I remember.  Another guy, though, had an advisor that insisted the crew practice silent landings and sneaking up on other campsites...  Sort of confused the wilderness experience for reserve training, I think...