I've spent too much time inside this winter.  After a beer or three, some friends and I try our hand at writing limericks.  Here's one I came up with:

BRANG
From his foodpack a paddler pulled Tang
"I can’t drink that!"  his mate loudly complained
Then out came the brandy
The night turned Jim-dandy
As they enjoyed the new drink called Brang


Many of you have probably heard this one before: (I don't know the author)

THE PELICAN
A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill will hold more than his belican.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week,
But I'm damned if I see how the helican.

SO, if any of you are so moved, share a limerick or two!

prouboy

Just found out The Pelican was written by Ogden Nash, for those who wondered.....


prouboy

Prouboy,

Limericks are tame compared to "Bushwhacker Balladeering" and "Voyageur Rap."  They were quite the thing during days of yore on QJ!  You should do an archive search & check them out....

Jimbo   8-)

inspired by the pike thread:

i'm hunting a huge esox lucius
it requires the wisdom of Confucius
the finding's a chore
he's eluded me before
this year will be more ambitious

zski -- very nice!  Now I've got to think (and drink another beer).

Jimbo -- I struggled, as in my opinion, any "real" limerick is a bit "bawdy," but I'm not sure about how the moderators would feel about that, so I stayed tame.  I'll check out the archives. 

prouboy

prouboy -

Maybe something like this?

I got me a hankering for trout
So over deep water’s my route
Oh drat, I’ve hooked bottom
Wait a minute… I’ve got’em!
And that’s what my fishing’s about….

Jimbo   8-)

prouboy -

Doggone it, now you got me started!
******************************

Canoe-campers will seldom drink beer
Too much weight with the rest of their gear
While booze may not last
It takes us quite fast
To the place we are trying to steer.

******************************

Hopefully that gets this limerick-infection out of my system.  Mine won't get any better (unless, of course, you've been sipping a LOT of beer).

Jimbo   8-)

here is a little silliness:

I paddle a boat made from Cedar.
I fish for pike with a line and no leader.
But what makes me man,
Is when I go to the can,
And survive the swarms of mosquiter.

and maybe this one will kill the thread  :-/

When it comes to whisky, Pascanell is a lush.
When MT's stringer is held up?  nothin' much.
Pink flamingoes, I aint got
db's got a nice . . . pot?   ;)
And PJ's jug, you better not touch.   :-?

My goodness that was fun.   ::)

jimmar wrote on Feb 18^th, 2014 at 7:54pm:

I paddle a boat made from Cedar. I fish for pike with a line and no leader. But what makes me man, Is when I go to the can, And survive the swarms of mosquiter.

Winner

Our hammocks will keep out mosquitoes
If we zip from our heads to our wee toes
But if we chew on some bannock
As we sleep in our hammocks
We turn into big bear burritos.


Jimbo   8-) 

this is fun.

At the end of the portage I'm dead,
My feet are all muddy and my face is all red,
I had just one prayer,
For when I got there,
It's that I can get this canoe off my head.

Pesky is the dreaded canoe fly
So we swat and we swear and we cry.
With their six-inch teeth
They deliver unbelievable grief
From big welts we might wilt and can die.

**********************************
Hmmmm... going downhill fast.  Better stop now (if I can).

Jimbo   8-)

Somebody stop me!
******************************

My French Press it made coffee faster
Yet my party all called it disaster
When I filled it from the teapot
That was marked as our pee pot
Thus earning my nickname of bastard.


Jimbo   8-)

It's been a loooooong winter. ;D ;D

good stuff   ;D

I wrote this on the last trip before I retired.

He paddled to Kawnipi for fun
His day job was soon to be done

Big wind and huge fish
Shaped his next wish

A career in canoe country begun.


prouboy

There was an old man of the lakes
Who grew tired of his numerous aches
So he started to stretch
And dumbells he next fetched
Now off to god’s country he makes.

I come to QJ for some fun
Cold beer is way better than rum

What Prouboy depicted
Got Jimbo addicted

Now look what our Prouboy has done.

Ah Gimp...I owe you a beer, or three.  Just say where and when.

Memorialized in a limerick.  Life doesn't get any better!!

Well done!

prouboy

Sometimes I feel conflicted
Others just say I'm addicted

But when challenge is laid
Jimbo's seldom afraid

Yet results mostly show he's afflicted.

*****************************

Prouboy, you've aroused an ancient evil!

Jimbo   8-)

Still the same old Jimbo!  Good to see no loss of your sense of humor!!

Bruce

arkansasman wrote on Mar 1^st, 2014 at 3:40pm:

Still the same old Jimbo!  Good to see no loss of your sense of humor!! Bruce

Howdy, stranger!  These confounded limericks might actually be worth something if they've gotten YOU to come out of the weeds!

Jimbo   8-)

Welcome back Bruce!! This thread is a sure sign of Winter Boredom Syndrome, an annual affliction affecting those living in our arctic blasts without end. -15 at our place this am. :o

Yeah the winter has not lost it's grip here either!  Rain outside is freezing and temps are supposed to get down to 15 here tonight.  We're in the middle of another winter storm!  Hopefully the last of the year! 

I'll do my best to hang around some more.  Last 3 years have been something for sure.  Can't wait for my trip north this summer... I need it!

Good to talk to you guys!

Bruce

I come to a site called QJ
Seeking the best way to play

If the advice you have took
Become an Inukshuk

Assure that the sites here to stay.

A strong stout eager family man
Said to his family, "I am sure we can"
The portages were tough,
The fish was rough
But in the end they all want to come again.


A rookie takes his family on vacation
they drive way across the great nation
some paddling they do
and some grumbling too
and they eat all of the dehydrated rations

to the far north they all cried!
Best we stay on the american side
to horse lake they went
and were totally spent
I told them to get some more exercise!

the bugs they were really quite frightening
and one day we were struck by that lightening
No harm did it do
though it scared out the pooh
and once home my daughter said, "I'm through!"


A few I whipped up! 
Want some background?  I took my sister, brother in law, and 4 teenagers out.  Only my sister and I had been to the BWCA, and that was over 20 years prior.  It was quite the adventure!  and yes, I did get a little zap from some lightning.  I was touching the metal gunale of the canoe (on shore) and some of it came thru that.  Yowzers!  But, going back again this summer!  this time, only one of the teenagers!

I set out to paddle at dawn.
No "honey do list," no lawn.

Each stroke I take, I'm further away.
From the toilsome tasks of the day to day.

I'll catch a few fish, build a few fires,
Spin a few yarns to share with the liars.

While watching the stars and breathing fresh air,
the jumble of thoughts find clarity there.

And when I run out of days and libations to drink,
of the blessings at home, I begin to think.

Grateful for places like this,
but more grateful for the grace of a wife who still welcomes me home with a kiss.   :o

How does 'limericks' fall into 'important topics'?
As trivial as it is...
It is what it is...
Might as well paddle in the tropics. :o

You of all people should know the answer to your question OS  ;) We go to canoe country to put a smile on our mugs......and oh to do so without drugs.

As per canoeing in the tropics and other important topics ::)......sooner or later I'm going to get this Everglades national park thing wired and be throwing out some paddling invites so who knows. I have fished the ten thousand islands out of a redneck flats boat for close to 20 years so prospective invites will be assured of a quality fishing experience. But the environment is unique and quite special. Much to observe in the water and land. Shuttle service to and from ft Myers will be included.

Pricing and rates will soon be available at MT Enterprises.com.......tipping is optional. This commercial interruption brought to you via MT Enterprises, all rights reserved. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.

There once was a man in a Bell
Who thought canoeing was swell

He paddled and portaged
Of days there was no shortage

Through wind and rain and feelings of pain
All of which he considered gain

He travelled by day and travelled by night
Thinking it all a delight

Little by little he became old
And consequently, less bold

Now he sits in his chair, his thoughts laid bare
As he is transported back and is without a care

(Hey, I thought limericks were supposed to be funny? Oh well, its what came out)

This forum began one fine May
'cause I wondered what people might say
In 15 long years
I've read laughter and tears
And it just seems to turn out this way.

A walleyes a fresh water cod
Sometimes our behavior is odd
It's said there are rules
those that follow are fools
and 'round here please excuse me I'm god.

A limericks a poem in the making
and some folks may feel a strong aching
to let it all out
so they'll stand up and shout
I'm just glad when they're not bellyaching.

There once was a man from Nantucket
who noticed he paddled a bucket
he said with a grin
as he rode his craft in
if judges were here I'd of stuck it.

I could probably do this all night
but first light would cause a big fight
my methods are true
I've been waiting for you
And with that lets call it a night.

This forum is like a park map
some read it to find where to crap
we cling to our bliss
since we too might miss
for some things you do not need an app.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go MOO.

Bravo!!!


Jimbo   8-)

jimmar wrote on Feb 18^th, 2014 at 7:54pm:

I paddle a boat made from Cedar. I fish for pike with a line and no leader. But what makes me man, Is when I go to the can, And survive the swarms of mosquiter.

So many of the limericks are excellent but this one in particular cracks me up every time it comes to mind - ...like on the way in to work this morning ;D

thanks...happy that my peculiar sense of humor can provide entertainment to someone...it gets kinda lonely feeling when I'm the only one laughing