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Good father?  Hardly.  I haven't done a single good thing my entire life.

As a fellow "beggar", I think your selling yourself way to short with that statement. I see your pics with those great looking kids of yours as testament that you've done something good, whether your realize it or not.
“Loving your neighbor” isn't something to downplay either.

Me wanting to know the “why’ isn't out of morbid curiosity or wanting to feel superior to someone.
I don’t see how you can help someone that obviously needs some kind of assistance, other than short term unless you know how they got to that place in their life?