As someone in a similar situation, you post interests me.  What struck me very vividly was what you wanted your sherpas to do. I see a big difference between sherpas that help on portages and sherpas that do camp chores.  In the former case, you are talking assistance born of necessity.  Physical limitations make such activities problematic.

But for camp chores, I guess my reaction may be along the lines of what you asked not to hear.  Is taking 5 min to set up a tent an issue?  Isn't setting up camp part part of the effective bonding time that is part of the trip? The scenario you described to me sounded like "glamping", not only with sherpas but servants.  I would think in that kind of environment, there would be two separate groups camping together; the staff and the customers.  I know your intention is to bond with family, but wouldn't it be nice of some interesting strangers were part of one group camping together.

Regardless of who is in what canoe, lets say you stayed together as a group.  For every two people, I will assume there are two heavy bags, one day bag, some hand carries, and a canoe.  Each sherpa double portages, canoe/heavy one trip and heavy/hand the next.  Each non-sherpa single portages taking just a day bag. You travel as a group and all contribute to camp, but as in any group, the camp contributions may vary according to preference and abilities.