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Boundary Waters / Quetico Discussion Forums >> General Boundary Waters / Quetico Discussion >> Attack Of The Killer Squirrel!
https://quietjourney.com/community/YABB.cgi?num=1487787552 Message started by solopaddler on Feb 22nd, 2017 at 6:19pm |
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Title: Attack Of The Killer Squirrel! Post by solopaddler on Feb 22nd, 2017 at 6:19pm
I thought you guys might enjoy this little tale, it's one I've told my kids many times over the years. I suspect I might be condemned for squirrel abuse, but so be it. :)
Years ago I was at the tail end of a two month long solo trip in Quetico and approached a perfect little island campsite on Mckenzie Bay on Kawnipi Lake. It was getting late so I decided to pull in and set up camp. While unloading my gear this angry little psycho red squirrel with a black slash on his forehead raced around me excitedly, chattering and shrieking at me like he was rabid, obviously I was on his turf! After awhile he left and I went about my business. A little while later I had a fire going and was about to start eating a potful of rice when out of the corner of my eye I spotted the little demon seed sitting on the log next to me mesmerized by my food. Very, very slowly I grabbed the pot lid in my right hand and held it poised above the pot which was resting on my knees. It took a looong time, probably 15 minutes of sitting motionless like that, but finally the little buggar hopped into my pot and started gobbling up my dinner. I quickly slammed the lid down to capture the demon and all hell broke loose! He was scrabbling at the pot trying to get out, all the while making these weird, angry gurgling noises. Well, as much as he was bugging me I didn't want to kill the little guy, I just wanted him to get lost. I looked around and noticed a tiny rock pile in the lake about 400 yards from the island. Aha! I thought, Alcatraz it is for the little beggar! I put the still shrieking squirrel into my canoe and pushed off for the rock pile. Upon arriving, I VERY carefully placed the pot on the rocks, then leaned way over with the paddle, completely unbalanced, and flipped the pot lid off with the tip of the paddle. What happened next is kind of a blur it happened so fast. In my minds eye I see the squirrel shoot straight up in the air about 2 feet, do a 360 to see where he is, then shrieking, he launched himself horizontally right at my face. He was like the Chuck Norris of squirrels. ;D All 4 of the demons little claws sank into my face drawing blood. Naturally I freaked out and capsized my canoe. The demon squirrel spring boarded off my face and hit the water like he had an outboard in his butt, making a beeline back to his island. Squirrels are REALLY good swimmers, who knew? :) All I could do was laugh. I gathered my wits (and canoe) and made my way back to the island. Thankfully the demon seemed to be in hiding and the ordeal was over. Or so I thought. The next morning I packed up early as I wanted to get going. The canoe was loaded and I was just finishing my morning oatmeal when, you guessed it, I spied the demon squirrel about 2 feet to my right staring intently at my pot of oatmeal. I knew it was the same beast 'cause of the distinctive black slash on his forehead (sign of the beast?) This time it took at least 1/2 an hour...my arm was getting REALLY tired holding the pot lid in the air motionless. Finally, his hunger overcame his fear and he tentatively hopped in. I slammed the lid down on him with a vengeance! The bizarre, otherworldly noises that came from that pot sent chills down my spine. Without really thinking, just reacting, I grabbed the pot and shook it a few times, then threw it down on the ground. Amazingly the demon landed on his feet, standing upright. His eyes were closed though, and he was wobbling around like a drunk. I grabbed my pot, thinking, "huh, that'll teach ya!" I was still watching the beast as I turned to my canoe, when suddenly the wobbling stopped, his beady eyes snapped open clear and bright and full of hate. He let out a blood curdling shriek and launched himself at my leg! If any of you remember the killer bunny rabbit from Monty Python and The Holy Grail, well this was pretty similar. Frantically I tried to get to my canoe and safety as the creature attacked. He latched himself onto the cuff of my pants as I ran to my boat. Realizing he was attached to me I kicked my leg out and he flew off (I could have split the uprights at 60yds with that shot). I made it to my boat and pushed off, finally escaping the beasts wrath. Beyond being stalked by polar bears this was by far my most memorable wildlife encounter! :) |
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