This is, perhaps an odd place to share my story, but in light of your last post, TomT, I am going to do so, and try to make it short.

I have a dear cousin with whom I have had a daily email correspondence for more than three years.  She is younger than I, in her late 60's.  She had a "best friend" all through high school and they were roommates for a year at college.  Very, very close.  I get that.  Her friend died after a battle with metastacized breast cancer, perhaps 10-12 years ago.  A sad turn of events.

She visits Jean's grave several times a year, and when she did so the last time (it was on the "anniversary" of Jean's death) she told me that she left flowers and also chocolate, because "Jean loved chocolate." 

When I responded to her email I said that I didn't understand leaving food at a cemetery by a grave.  It seems to me just a way to feed the critters, not to mention a dog that might happen by and get sick from injesting the chocolate.  It isn't like Jean, wherever you believe she is now, can enjoy this chocolate.   :-/

This has caused a rift between me and my friend.  I am learning now that being open and frank about your ideas concerning death is a way to offend some people very quickly.  It is such a personal thing, and I guess if I don't understand it, that is irrelevant.  But I keep wondering--do people really do that??  Do they leave food offerings at cemeteries?  Is this normal and I have just never heard of it?

My cousin says she was "honoring" her friend. 

To me, once you have left this world, your body is an empty shell.  Just something to be disposed of.  I will have a new body in Heaven, hopefully a lot better than this one.   ;)  I don't want anyone "viewing" me in a casket. (that is what they call it where my husband grew up, a "viewing")  I have always prefered to say "visitation", since I go to those functions to speak with the family, not to look at the body.

I have been told that Catholics do not approve of scattering remains; they believe that the body must still be intact when interred.  That is why I made the comment about the bio-urn appealing to our grandchildren more, since our granddaughter is a Catholic.  I just need to hope that they would be willing to travel to the BWCA to honor "my" request.  Realistically, I guess I will have absolutely no control about what happens to me after I am gone.  Obviously, if I go first, Spartan1 knows about my wishes and I am sure he will see to it properly.