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Well, if you beggars INSIST, I suppose I MUST tell you the REAL scoop. You see, it's kind of like your archetypical sad "canoeist's triangle" story....
So there we were. Tripper & I were doin' seemingly just fine on our five day basecamp "honeymoon" Autumn trip into western Beaverhouse. We even brought in luxuries like CHAIRS for crying out loud! We were comfortable, nailing Smallies on the Quetico River, & doing wonderful - well, ok, so maybe now I admit I suck as a bow paddler - but, other than that, things were just peachy.
THEN - you guessed it - ALONG COMES this dude... db.
Good ole db comes stumbling along - seemingly lost - on our 2nd or 3rd day, right there at the 1st set of rapids on the Quetico River. Looking back now, I can see he had "eyes" for Tripper from the very beginning. This intruder/usurper concocted a story of woe, involving wind & waves & rain. THEN, as our hearts are going out to him, he invites himself into OUR camp. And well, you see... it's like this. Good ole db cooks up a pretty darn good canoe country cheesecake, he hangs a fancy bear rope rig, he flaunts curvacious rubber bumpers on the front of his canoe, and he ties elegant knots, too. Yikes!!
I mean, how is a guy like ME going to compete with all this?!?
And THAT's all she wrote, my friends! Guess WHO Tripper subsequently tripped with henceforth??? Just you ask THEM about the soft Moonlight on the wide northern vista of THEIR McKenzie Lake campsite! One of the heartless fiends even sent me a picture of said campsite - a memento from their tryst - only yesterday!!
So, here I am... forsaken, jilted, scorned, belittled, & left wallowing in my grief. Sadly, I now find myself working on my own cheesecake recipes. Yes, I have even asked db how he ties his fancy knots - such as he advertises FOR SALE in a "How-To" kit on his website - BUT he won't show me or sell them to ME! Strangely enough, "there are none left", says he. Ha!!! Sure, likely story! And, NOW, now I have even gone so far as to pay the exorbitant price demanded by the Boundary Waters Journal just so I can attach food packs to MY OWN fancy bear rope rig. Next step? Rubber bumpers for my canoe, I suppose.
Just my luck... being left for a younger paddling partner who has bigger rubber bumpers than I have.
Can you believe it?? The HUMILIATION of it all!!!
So... please let my sad tale of woe serve as a word of warning to everyone. BEWARE! Beware of all of the come-along "would-be" paddling partners out there who constantly design & scheme to snatch that very special someone whose paddle sings with yours in the making of sweet canoe music.
There you have it, the REAL scoop... a veritable Quiet Journey Peyton Place.
Jilted Jimbo 8)
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